I wanted to share with everyone my amazing day yesterday. First, I'll back track a bit. We were originally supposed to go to Reilly's gastro-intestinal scope today. Plans changed when both my boys got the chicken pox. Definately not the news I wanted to hear. I was really bummed out that I was going to have to reschedule his scope and wait to find more answers. In the midst of my horrible attitude about having 2 kids with the chicken pox and missing Reilly's scope, I had the opportunity to go to an Autism Forum. It was at the Clements Centre ( who I have mentioned on several occassions as being the best place on earth). At this place would be several autism service providers in the community and other local families with children with autism. Wow. I felt excited to go. Honestly, I was really scared to go at first.
Cowardly, I made a phone call to the Clements Centre to get some additional information on the forum later that night. I blurted out to the lady on the opposite end of the line that I was going alone and I was nervous that I wouldn't have anyone to talk to. She assured me that I would have many amazing people to talk to and lots of stuff to check out. Fast forward later to that night, I get dropped off to the Forum. A nervous wreck. I am pretty shy and going to this alone, sans my chatterbox husband was daunting. I was going to face the music and make the best of it. Almost right away I was recognized by the woman I spoke to on the phone. She made me feel at ease right away. As the night progressed I started running into people who knew my name. Trust me, it's a bit odd to have people walk up to you and call you by name. Each person told me that the lady had told them about me. How sweet. No longer did I feel awkward and uncomfortable. It became amazing to hear each person's story. Every person I ran into I felt as though I was talking to a long lost relative. They knew everything about me, and I could relate to everything about them. Yet we weren't related at all. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally, more than ever.
I could talk with ease about my son's situation. Without fear of judgement or worry. Finally I felt as though I wasn't alone. This was the night I realized how lucky I was to recieve such a wonderful, amazing little boy. True, I have mentioned before how I love him so much and how amazing he is. I mean really, how amazing and unique he is. I now appreciate all his idiocincries and odd behaviours. Its' what makes him who he is. I am glad God didn't create him any other way. To have such amazing people love my son as deeply as I do. How did I ever deserve to have so many people in my life who I consider family? God didn't want Reilly to grow up alone and secluded like I originally thought at the diagnosis. He wanted him to grow up so loved and cared for he gave him this unique outlook on life. People may think I'm crazy for saying this, but I truly believe this. I cannot count on two hands the amount of loving, devoted professional and personal people who have created a special place in my son's heart. All because my son' has Autism. What a wonderful, yet scary and sad gift all at the same time. Yes, their are lots of days I am sad Reilly has Autism and try to accept how much of a long journey this will be. But only in that forum did I realize how much blessings I can recieve from having such a wonderful, special needs boy.
No longer do I feel hatred and anger towards God for giving me a child with this disorder. But I thank him for introducing me to the most amazing, good hearted people I have ever met in my life. People I may have never met otherwise. Without Autism, I wouldn't notice the small things in life. How to be patient and more loving, more gracious and attentive. God has shown me these things in such a different way. Far from something I could ever want.
Aside from yesterday, today I had another amazing thing happen. So not the best news, I found out I have chicken pox. Already having it before, I was surprised I could get it again. Also very mad I got it again. I was going to have to miss a week of work. Yikes. Not the best timing to miss that much work. I sat in disappointment the whole way home to my husband who reminded me not to dwell on all the negativity and focus on it. Wow, he was right. I was doing that. I then realized how much Autism has provided for us and given us so many gifts. I don't think I could thank God enough for being there for me when I didn't think he was.
